10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.

Credits : LUMJUNCHI

MOVED. ask me for url.

Baby, don't talk to me.
I'm trying to let go
Not loving you is harder then you know.
'Cause girl your driving me so crazy

Inside me now there's only heartache and pain!

and I'll leave today
I'm gonna miss you 'cause i love you baby
Yeah, I'll make the call
I'm leaving today
Leaving always drives me crazy!

and if you don't want me then
i guess I'll have to go!
not loving you is harder then you know

MIA

:'(

Attempt to cheer myself up.

And that's you, i'm not giving up :)

It just read my mind.

The moment I saw this picture, it set me thinking. Do you care about me? Am I of any importance to you? Am I nothing to you? And of course, am I just a friend to you? I can't help but to think about everything, the things that I've done doesn't seemed to be appreciated. at least that is how i feel. It hurts when you give me cold replies, it hurts when you ignore me, but I chose not to show the true feelings out, because i guess whats the point if im emo. Im the one that is in love with you, while you're not. you wouldn't care if i felt this way...

FML.

YOU GOT TO LOVE HER! :D

cute uh?

Can anyone tell me why i get jealous so easily? :( maybe im just too sensitive...

Financial Accounting > MY ASS!

zzz ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH fucking dulan!!!!! i left a 15mark question blank sia!!!! WHATTHEFUCK. zzz 2 UTS also cui i can go jump off building die alrdy. ccb. confirm need retake module liao. zzzz FML FML FML FML FML FML FML!

[1] I need to tell you a secret LOOK AT 5
[2] The answer is LOOK AT11
[3] Dont get mad LOOK AT 15
[4] Calm down don’t be mad LOOK AT 13
[5] First LOOK AT 2
[6] Dont be that angry LOOK AT 12
[7] I just wanted to say i love you.
[8] What I wanted to tell you is…THE ANSWER IS ON 14
[9] Be patient LOOK AT 4
[10] This is the last time I’m going to do this LOOK AT 7
[11] I hope you’re not mad when I say this LOOK AT 6
[12] Sorry LOOK AT 8
[13] Don’t get mad LOOK AT 10
[14] I dont know how to say this LOOK AT 3
[15] You must be realllllly mad LOOK AT NUMBER 9

:)

This few days like in bad mood.... i should just fuck off and die...

Feel dam hurt, hope that the feeling will be gone tomorrow.

How i wish you could call me right now.

Woah my handphone seems to be dead. It hasn't rung the past 24hrs. Starting to miss the feeling when i hear my phone ring and seeing the message was from you, really put a smile on my face. :) HAHA really hope when reach singapore on Friday you would give me a call again? Really hope it would happen. just hoping.. All i can say is, i miss you.


06/01/2010



Was marketing. Funny thing. Faci like all going missing. then the relief faci was like abit fucked up. got alot of issues with my team. we do like dog liao he still say not enough. somemore we like put in more effort then we normally do. this kp that also kp. damn irritating. presentation also ask ask ask macham no need money one. pissed off. haha then after school stayed back while to accompany my fellow friends to revise for Maths UT. i didn't study. But i did help them solve some questions! (Y) headed down to library, was supposed to stay till the library closes, whihc is 9pm but i couldn't stand the boredom anymore so i just head home at around 7+. Lets just hope my Maths UT went well even though i never did really study! :D



07/01/2010

Today was a good day! I finally felt that I had enough sleep for once since school started. I got up early but still was late for class-.- This whole week late sia! all my As need -0.5 :(. anyways today's maths test was (Y) wasn't as difficult as I expected. Heng I never really did study. wise decision. TOMORROW IT'S FRIDAY! :D:D LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! AND THE IMPORTANT THING IS OF COURSE....... SHES COMING BACK! WOOOHOO HAPPY LIKE FUCK :x OKAY ENOUGH IM GOING SLEEP. Tomorrow's gonna be a good day~

& it's true.

Even if you like them a little, or a lot, you miss them.. and there's nothing you can do about it :(

Wednesday:'(

HOHOHO MERRY CHRISTMAS! :S okay first day of school was okay. but was still tired. Like everyone cut their hair ar lol. but it was nice to see them after such a long break. haha class started like not so hyper but as time passed we got noisy (Y). plus heng today we didn't have to do presentation if not i would have fallen asleep during other groups presentation! HAHA

I just realised I need to buy alot of things ar. diexz no money how to buy. need to start saving up.

Things to buy:

1)Valentine's day present
2)CNY clothes!
3)Stuffs to put in my room (ALOT)
4)Birthday presents.

I'll just have to try to spend my money wisely from now onwards. sian means no anyhow buy LOLOL. but nvm saving up is a good habit i should pick up (Y) :D

How great would it be if it's you and me up there.

Many ask me how did i spend my last of 2009, sad to say i spent mine ALONE at home. If you consider my laptop as someone then i didn't spent it alone lo. Almost everyone i know spent it with their special someone. But me? Haisss.... (Shes my special someone, but im not hers. FML) Listening to them describe their day, the things they did, how they counted down, all of a sudden i felt fucking pathetic. Moving on...

School is starting in like 2 days. i just remembered I have test on thursday and the following monday. HAHA I have yet to study for them yet. Won't be too. There's Accounting where I have only a slight clue what it is after like 10 lessons (Y) and the other I have forgotten what it is already. I guess I'm gonna screw up bad for this 2 but oh well. :)

Spent the whole night yesterday alone, without the company of your messages... I'm kind of getting used to smsing you till late into the night, knowing you would like fall asleep like around 3am haha. Although i feel tired, but i made a point to ensure that you slept before me because as you know the time we spend talking have been decreasing. And after yesterday when you told me that you have to save on your smses i got a feeling that it might even stop. And then my phone stayed silent for the whole day... I'm feeling so uneasy right now, it's like I lost something from my body... I don't like this feeling.....

What I got to do to make you love me?

What I got to do to make you care?